11/2/2009

很多東西想記錄下來

但是一天就這樣一天的飛走
規律的生活帶著點無趣
盼望下班的來到 但是下班後繼續上班
偶而有自己的時間 （像是現在 笑）
但大部分我都在過著群體生活
這沒有不好 而我也慢慢習慣
但我還蠻享受一個人的

早上起來跟上帝的時間像在拔河
常常起不來 但是在一起的時間又覺得如此的短暫
畢竟有太多事情要與祂分享

小時候一直都覺得自己脾氣不錯
長越大越了解自己
容易不耐煩的個性在這裡愈來愈明顯
沒有什麼耐心 沒有柔和
有時候很不喜歡這樣的自已
想想 耶穌什麼時候對我沒耐心了？ 耶穌說我心裡柔和 謙卑
我呢？

今天跟很多以前的好友們講到話
Thanks em, it was very encouraging:

"and that God's working through me isn't my responsibility... my job is just to abide in him and he will make me what he wants me to be and produce fruit in and through me"

me: "i don't want to be like "Jacob" always "grabbing""
em: "yeah, right??? but once marshall benbow reminded me that even with jacob, God loved him and pursued him... again, taking the emphasis off of us and what we do"

and Karen is engaged!! i'm so happy for you friend!



I had a flashback when I was in the car few days ago after Korean barbecue.

My time with my French family. I have never imagined to live such a Frechy life. Eating baguette and cheese every single day after meal, speaking French, watching French TV especially every Friday night, Star Academy( kinda like American Idol), eating Nutella for breakfast, kissing everyone on both cheeks, smelling the most of the second-hand smoke in my life, and many other things. I thought about the funeral I attended when Mimi's mom died. Thinking about it was very surreal. The service was peaceful, there were a lot of people. I prayed for their family. We walked into the cemetery for the burial for her mother in a chilly muggy afternoon. After the funeral, a lot of family members went to the little coffee shop. Most of them I have never met. I sat with the Protano family. Mimi's other sisters and their family was kinda joking "is she one of the family members?" Julie responded, "couldn't you tell?" I felt I was really in the family. And afterwards, everyone came back to Mimi's house. It was a lot of of people. I felt I fit in perfectly. No awkwardness. And I remeber there is another time I went to a French court for one of Mimi's son's divource. But I guess they had the date or the place wrong or somthing. They had to re-schedule it. ha. I really miss Mimi. I really pray for her salvation.

I guess I was really American too. But I just felt that my Frenchy family time is so surreal. Even the traveling time was more real to me. I spoke the language I understood fairly well. Craziness. And look where I'm now. China. Living the Chinese life style. Crazy.

Anyways, I wasn't really trying to say anything. It's just that I'm so thrilled to have all those experiences. I had people who love me and the people I love all over the world! Isn't my God amazing?

So one thing I'm struggling currently. Doing business.........it's hard. How do i abide by God's rule and be a good merchant? how God? how?

So it was halloween this past weekend. What did I do? We went out to eat. I miss my parties. It kinda reminded me when I was in Barcelona couple year ago on Halloween. We did nothing either, went to bed super early. But the next morning, the central market was closed for all saint's day. We were hoping to get some good sea food, dang. lol

ok, enough thoughts. time for bed.